Yesterday’s quote of the day (said by a man, in a serious conversation about cars):
“Horsepower is an acceptable substitute for cubic inches.”
(Umm…guys…this sentence means something TOTALLY different to women than you might think…)
Quote of the day
Posted by justmyyarns on May 20, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/quote-of-the-day/
At the Tower
My husband and I traveled to London several years ago. It was our first (and so far, only) trip abroad. We were there for almost 3 weeks, and believe me there are a BUNCH of great (and some not-so-great) stories that came out of it.
One of my favorites was the day we planned a visit to the Tower of London. We went early, assuming it was going to be crowded. It was a fairly nice day in May so we figured it would be packed with tourists, and we were right.
While in line to enter, the woman and child behind kept crowding us – standing far too close for comfort. Finally I heard the woman speak – she was French. I know other countries have differing standards of “personal space” so we tried not to be too annoyed.
At the Tower we had a great time – Sean’s a huge armor fanatic so we spent a ton of time in the armory. I spent a few minutes at Traitors’ Gate trying to imagine what Elizabeth I had seen when she arrived from the Thames. We both love ravens so enjoyed seeing the Tower’s flock (per Wikipedia, the generic “flock” is the modern name for a group of ravens…past descriptions have been an “unkindness” or a “conspiracy” – I think I like those better!) .
The Tower has a small chapel (the “Chapel Royal of St Peter ad Vincula“) that’s still used for some private functions. We wanted to see the chapel, but the section was roped off and two Beefeaters were standing at the path entrance.
We stood off to the side, trying to decide what to do next.
At that point another group of tourists approached to visit the chapel, guidebooks in hand. The Beefeaters politely explained, in clear upper-crust British accents, that the chapel was currently closed for a private function, but that it should be open in about 15 minutes. The tourists continued to approach, speaking French-accented broken English, and gesturing to the path. The Beefeaters again explained, more slowly and with more hand gestures, that the chapel was now closed and to come back later. After several of these exchanges, the tourists finally moved along.
Once they were safely out of earshot, one Beefeater turned to the other and said, in a heavy East-End London accent: “F-ckin’ French.”
When Sean and I totally cracked up the Beefeater looked startled, then sheepish, then stoic again…all very quickly.
It was our very favorite quote of the whole trip!!
Posted by justmyyarns on May 16, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/at-the-tower/
Twenty Questions
My Sister and her husband have twin sons who just turned 12 years old. We’ve always had a lot of fun with our nephews, and luckily they still like to hang out with us (knock on wood, I hope it lasts!). They particularly adore Sean – he’s the cool uncle who taught them to play their first video game (at age 3), and Dungeons and Dragons (sorry, Sis!!)
One night not long ago, my husband and I were driving them to our house. It was too dark for them to read in the car (as they often do) and my Sister wouldn’t allow them to bring their video games (they were in trouble for playing when they shouldn’t have been). So, to pass the time we taught them how to play Twenty Questions. I figured that should be easy enough for a couple of bright 11-year-olds, right?
We took turns picking the Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral, and the rest of us rotated through asking a question. We had some pretty standard animals, and even a mineral or two. Then, one of the twins picked an item. We figured out it was a vegetable. Narrowing it down further, we determined it was a green leafy vegetable that’s not usually found in salads and that they had never eaten. We guessed a few – kale, collard greens, even broccoli. Finally we were stumped and started narrowing down how many letters were in the name – apparently more than 8.
When we got to the 20th question I finally asked…”Umm, are you sure you’re not thinking of cauliflower?”
That was it! You know…cauliflower…that green leafy vegetable.
At that point we were almost home, just passing our local grocery store. My husband pulled into the parking lot and said “That’s it – we’re totally buying cauliflower and making them eat it.” The Boys were horrified!! We promised it wouldn’t kill them to have a small bite. They were troopers…and I figure now they’ll never forget what cauliflower looks like!
Particularly when I occasionally text them a photo from the grocery store as a reminder…
Cauliflower is…
Posted by justmyyarns on May 8, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/twenty-questions/
The most wasted of all days…
Lopez Island is my happy place. You can have Disneyland, I’ll take Lopez any day. Our family cabin may be rustic (i.e. unfinished walls and no running water), but some of my best memories are from family visits every summer. I even called my Dad’s mother “Beach Grandma” because she had the beach. (And I called my Mom’s mother “Little Grandma” because, well, she was little!)
Beach Grandma spent every summer at Lopez with her Dalmatian, Trisha. (To this day my family calls Dalmatians “Trisha dogs”.) Like most dogs, Trisha loved to roll around in things – the stinkier the better! One summer she came back to the cabin reeking of a dead fish she’d found on the beach. It was sooooo awful! We raced around trying to catch her, trying to keep her from rubbing up against anything, or anyone.
With no running water there was no easy way to give Trisha a bath. Instead, Grandma quickly grabbed for a can of Lysol to neutralize the stench. Only after spraying down the poor dog did anyone notice that the can was actually hair spray! Good ol’ Aqua Net. It just sealed in the odor…and all we could do was laugh and laugh until tears streamed down our faces.
On the wall at Lopez is the poster below, that my parents purchased as a young couple. It says “the most wasted of all days is the day when we have not laughed”. Luckily there aren’t many wasted days in my family!
Posted by justmyyarns on May 1, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/05/01/the-most-wasted-of-all-days/
Bastian and the Gelatinous Glob
When Bastian (our first cat) was still an only “child” we lived in a 2-bedroom apartment (this time WITH a dishwasher!). One day when cleaning the litter box I noticed a strange object the size of a large marble. It was a gelatinous and appeared to be attached to a piece of poop. Euuewww. I called out (okay, it may have been more of a shriek) to Sean, who brought me a paper towel. I gently touched the towel to the glob and it came away bright red. Eek! With hearts pounding we quickly looked up the vet’s phone number.
A typical paranoid “mom”, I explained what we’d just found, and worried that our beloved cat was bleeding internally. The vet ran us through the usual questions – is he eating, is he acting normal, is there anything he could have gotten into, etc. Considering I was watching Bastian devour the food in his bowl I said that yes, he was acting very normal.
The vet explained that sometimes cats can eat something they shouldn’t, or have a small problem in their digestive tract, that can cause a one-time issue. But if he was acting normal and eating as usual then we should just keep an eye on him (and the litter box) for anything else odd.
We watched him closely for a week and all seemed to be fine. Nothing else appeared in the litter box, and he seemed happy. The next weekend my best friend came over, as she usually did, to hang out, watch a movie, eat snacks, or whatever. We mentioned to her what had happened, but that luckily all seemed to be well.
After a long pause she quietly said “Well…he did like my red licorice last week…”
Posted by justmyyarns on April 24, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/bastian-and-the-gelatinous-glob/
Soy Sauce Impressionism
soy sauce (Photo credit: jungmoon)
How to Create an Impressionist Painting on the Ceiling:
1. Reach for a soy sauce container.
2. Grab the container by the top/spout, not the body.
3. Carefully drop the container on the kitchen floor – making sure it lands flat and doesn’t tip over.
4. Step back as the soy sauce blows the lid off the container and splatters all over the ceiling.
5. Enjoy your masterpiece!
(And then it’s completely up to you whether to clean it up or sell prints.)
Posted by justmyyarns on April 17, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/04/17/soy-sauce-impressionism/
Smokin’
When Sean and I first got together he was a smoker, and I come from a family where no one is. When it became apparent he was going to stick around for a while I told him I just didn’t see myself in a long-term relationship with someone who smoked.
He sweetly decided to quit cold turkey. (Though I suspect he was also influenced by the need to walk down a long hall and 2 flights of stairs to smoke outside in the rain.) He went through a lot of suckers during that time. He was a bit of a bear, but all in all I think he did rather well kicking such an addiction.
Months later I was on the phone (I don’t actually remember with whom) and was looking for something. For some reason I thought that it (I have no clue what “it” was…) might be in Sean’s messenger bag. While still talking on the phone I reached down and started rummaging through his bag. (Note: Yes, this was an invasion of privacy. I have no defense.) In my peripheral I could see him hovering, his hands fluttering nervously. It wasn’t until I reached the cigarettes in the bag that I figured out why. I calmly finished the conversation and set down the phone.
Sean was in quite a state…stammering apologies and excuses. The funny thing is that I wasn’t really upset, just disappointed. Though as I can attest to (my parents are masters), disappointment can be far worse.
We both learned an important lesson that day – he learned he probably can’t hide anything from me (oh, and he hasn’t smoked since), and I learned to ask permission before digging through his stuff.
And to this day when I can’t find something Sean tells me it’s in his bag next to the cigarettes.
Posted by justmyyarns on April 12, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/smokin/
The Great Easter Egg Hunt
Image via Wikipedia
When I was fairly young – probably about 7 – we went to my grandparents’ house for Easter. I was looking forward to finding all the colorful foil-wrapped chocolate eggs hidden around their house – mostly because I liked the game, but also because I was the only grandchild and got to keep all the eggs for myself.
Unfortunately, grandma hadn’t had time to hide them yet. She was busy in the kitchen (as she often was) and had passed the job – and bag of eggs – to my grandfather. Oh yes, he of the dry wit.
I remember walking into the front room and starting to look around. At first I didn’t see any eggs in the usual places. None tucked behind knick-knacks, none on the table lamp, none under the coffee table. I thought maybe they’d decided to make it harder since I was another year older. I looked and looked and looked but couldn’t see a single egg.
I don’t think I burst into tears, but I’m pretty sure my voice edged into whiny territory. And I’m guessing there was a pout involved too. “Grandma, there’s no eggs!”
My grandmother came out of the kitchen and looked at my grandfather accusingly. “I told you to hide them!”
Grandpa walked over to the fireplace, reached behind a clock on the mantle, and lifted up the bag of eggs. Yes, the WHOLE, unopened, bag. “I did.”
Grandma quickly shooed me out of the room and hid the eggs. It was the best do-over ever.
Posted by justmyyarns on April 5, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/the-great-easter-egg-hunt/
Animaniacs
When Sean (my then-boyfriend-now-husband) and I first started living together we could barely afford rent and food, let alone a cable bill. We only had access to a few channels, via rabbit-ears on my tiny 13″ color tv. (This was in the same apartment that had no dishwasher – so archaic!!)
Needless to say we watched a lot of lousy television. One show we did enjoy together, though it was meant for kids, was the afternoon cartoon “Animaniacs“. There was a surprising amount of adult humor, and a lot of crazy characters. One of the strangest was “Chicken Boo” – a giant chicken who wore clothing and was then mistaken for whoever he was pretending to be (cowboy, super-spy, martial artist)…even though he only ever said “Bock!”. His theme song was particularly catchy too:
Chicken Boo, what’s the matter with you?
You don’t act like the other chickens do.
You wear a disguise to look like human guys
But you’re not a man; you’re a chicken, Boo.
One night I was woken from a sound sleep by Sean sitting bolt upright in bed and singing “you’re not a man, you’re a Chicken Boo”, and flopping back down – he never even woke up. Scared the bejeezus out of me!
Once my heart started beating again I totally cracked up, but I let the poor guy sleep. He’d never done anything like that before, nor since, but you can bet I’ve never let him forget it! Animaniacs will always have a soft spot, and a running joke, in our hearts.
Posted by justmyyarns on March 29, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/animaniacs/
Quick Remodeling Advice
Sonicare (Photo credit: thefost)
Ladies, just a quick bit of advice if you happen to be remodeling a bathroom.
IF you decide to follow the current trend of raising the sink and counter height to 36″, and IF you’re of a certain age (and aren’t as…umm…perky…as you used to be), then please – don’t brush your teeth topless.
Trust me – when you bend over to spit out toothpaste – that counter is COLD.
Posted by justmyyarns on March 26, 2012
https://justmyyarns.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/quick-remodeling-advice/
Just me
Telling stories about my life.
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